From Medical Language to the Language of Love: Shifting Gears When You Get Home

If you review your latest WhatsApp chats with your partner, what words do you see most often? It's very likely you'll find terms like: beta wait, transfer, ultrasound, viability, lawyers, signature, cycle, or clinical report.

When we start a surrogacy process at Fertility Dreams, it’s completely normal (and necessary) to become familiar with medical and legal language. We become experts in phases, dates, and technicalities. However, there’s a silent risk: that clinical vocabulary ends up moving to the dining table and displaces the language of love.

If you feel your relationship is starting to resemble more of a medical meeting or a business partnership than a couple, red alert! It’s time to learn how to "shift gears" in your daily life to protect your bond, no matter where you are in the world. Here’s how to achieve that.

1. The "Clinic Mailbox" Ritual

When the process becomes the only topic of conversation, the mind doesn’t rest, and romance fades. Practice this exercise at the end of the day or after a video call with the medical team:

• An imaginary space: Visualize an invisible mailbox before sitting down to relax.
• The deal: Leave the technical words, worries about timelines, and contract reviews stored there.
• The golden rule: During dinner or your downtime, using medical terms is prohibited. Let’s ask again: How was your day? What music do you want to listen to? How are you feeling, my love?

2. Reclaim Your "Secret Codes" and Nicknames

In waiting rooms, formal emails, or process chats, you are "The Intended Parents." But at home, in your safe space, you are still the same people who fell in love dancing, traveling, chatting, or watching movies.

Don’t let technical formalities take away your tenderness. Reclaim those affectionate nicknames (no matter how cheesy they are), the inside jokes that only you two understand, and those knowing gestures that have nothing to do with laboratories. Remembering who you are outside of the process is the best fuel for the heart.

An important reminder: Before being the future parents of a beautiful baby, you are a couple who chose to walk together. Take care of that foundation.

3. Dates with "Zero Medical Coverage"

Once a week, plan a special moment alone together. It could be going out to discover a new restaurant, taking a walk outdoors, or simply staying home cooking something delicious with a glass of wine or your favorite drink.

The only condition for this date is that the surrogacy process does not sit at the table. If one of you slips a word about the clinic, the other can impose a "fun fine" (like a back massage, taking care of dinner the next day, or a long kiss).

4. From Head to Heart: Change the Question

When discussing the process, try to shift from the logical and informative part to the emotional part.

• Instead of asking: What did they tell us today in the technical report? (Focus on the data).
• Try asking: How did today’s report make you feel? Are you feeling calm? (Focus on the emotion).

This transforms a medical status update into a moment of mutual support and deep connection.

Look into Each Other's Eyes Again

The journey at Fertility Dreams is exciting, challenging, and transformative. But don’t forget that love is the origin of this entire life project. Don’t let science overshadow romance.

Today, when the day ends, set aside the role of patients. Look into each other’s eyes, hold each other tight for more than 15 seconds, and remember to say the most important phrase of all, one that doesn’t come in any medical manual: "I love you and I’m happy to experience this with you."