Many of these calls start with a "sorry for the question." There's no need: the person on the other side has been answering the same questions for years. The difference between a call that resolves issues and one that leaves things hanging is what you brought prepared.
What you already have, even if you think it's useless
If you've been trying for a while, you probably have more tests than you remember: blood tests, an ultrasound, a sperm analysis from two years ago, the report of a treatment that didn't work. All of that is useful, even the old stuff, even what went wrong.
The old information helps to see how things have changed. And what went wrong is among the most useful: it shows what was tried and how your body responded, saving months of retracing steps. Gather it in a folder, without organizing or understanding it. That's our job.
The dates from the last year
When you started trying. When was the last consultation. How long did the last treatment last and when did it end. These are details that are hard to recall from memory and significantly affect what the consultant will propose.
No calendar precision is needed. "More or less in March" is enough, and it's much better than an invented date to sound good.
The question that often goes unasked is about money. Ask it first, directly, and if the answer isn't a number or a date to get the number, insist.
Your questions, written down
This is the one that gets forgotten the most. In a forty-five minute call where you'll receive a lot of new information, the questions you had in mind tend to slip away. Write them down beforehand, even if there are just three, even if they seem silly, even if they're out of order.
And if you don't know what to ask, these four work for any case: what treatment do you propose and why that one, what does it include and what doesn't, what happens if it doesn't work the first time, and who will be my contact from now on.
Who you will be with
If you have a partner, decide beforehand if both will be present. There is no right answer: some couples prefer one to filter the information first, while others need to hear it at the same time. What doesn't work well is for one to find out later and second-hand, because the upcoming decisions are made by both.
And look for a place where you can talk without lowering your voice. It may seem minor, but it isn't: there are questions that aren't asked in an open office.
What you don't need to bring
You don't need to know what treatment you want. You don't need to have read anything. You don't need to bring a decision made, neither that day nor that week.
And you don't need to be sure. Many people schedule this call without knowing if they want to proceed, just to understand what it would entail. It's a perfectly legitimate use of those forty-five minutes, and you leave without committing to anything.
If after reading this you need something else, marIAna answers at any hour and doesn't tire of questions. And when you want to discuss it with someone, the call is scheduled here.
